The Purpose of Loneliness
Technology is increasing social anxiety and depression. How might we use these feelings as a signal for our own state of being as well as a collective response to society at large. A check engine light of sort. “Amidst the glossiness of late capitalism, we are fed the notion that all difficult feeling—depression, anxiety, loneliness, rage—are simply a consequence of unsettled chemistry, a problem to be fixed, rather than a response to structural injustice.”
Hi Love,
these last days of the year seem to trigger all sorts of feelings. More than one major media outlet has done a story on loneliness. It is the season. It also should come as no surprise to anyone that technology and excessive work are major contributors to the spread of social isolation. What is interesting is that we might use these feelings as a signal flare for our own state of being as well as a collective response to society at large. A check engine light of sort. “Amidst the glossiness of late capitalism, we are fed the notion that all difficult feeling—depression, anxiety, loneliness, rage—are simply a consequence of unsettled chemistry, a problem to be fixed, rather than a response to structural injustice.” (Olivia Laing, Lonely City)
Unlike other social ills, our small individual actions can have a measurable impact. Call a friend you haven't talked to in a while. No, do not send a tweet or draft an email but pick up the phone and call. It needs to be low on tech and high on the personal touch. And for those of you who are overachievers, organize a dinner. By reinforcing our own social network IRL and encouraging others in our network to do the same we start to create more resiliency and add sparkles of light in what could be a deep dark night. Pay it forward and let it ripple onward. Society is a collective construct. We are continuously making and breaking and remaking it. It's time to see the mechanic!
If you are in the Pittsburg area, check out Hello Neighbor, they pair hosts with newly settled refugee families to show them around and essentially be a good neighbor to those who are far away from their homeland. The Difference provides on-demand access to therapy as an Alexa Skill, which means you can simply shout at your Alexa enabled device and get added to a queue to speak with a train professional in as quick as 30 minutes. Since we are deep in helpful resources, remember there is always the National Suicide Prevention Hotline and The Trevor Project which is created for LGBTQ youth.
Sending you much light and love --- You are not alone!
Charlie
IDEAS YOU CAN STEAL
Continuing with the theme this week, check out:
How to connect with depressed friends.
WORTH A READ
Olivia Laing, The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone. This brilliant book as a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award in Criticism and named best book of the year (2016) by NPR, Newsweek, Slate, Pop Sugar, Marie Claire, Elle, Publishers Weekly, and Lit Hub
It is a biography/memoir/cultural criticism on the subject of loneliness, told through the lives of iconic artists. It is a meander and you have to clear some time to go with Ms Laing on this journey, oh it is so worth it. It's a gorgeous insightful read irrespective to your current state of being.
WANDERLUST
For weekly readers, you already know Cairo is up next followed by Patagonia. For those of you who pop in every here and there, I will be speaking at NEXUS Cairo on informal education for refugees in the MENA region followed by El Chalten for my 40th birthday. There is a corner in our house that is slowly gathering a collection of outdoor gears in anticipation for Patagonia. I'm looking forward to both very much. If you've been to Cairo since Arab Spring or Patagonia, let me know. Love to hear your thoughts on either or both.
DON'T MISS
A chance to be a family's personal paparazzi, earn $100K and travel the world all expense paid. A friend sent it along and I thought I would share it with you. I would have been all over it in 2013-14 but less so now.
At Home. An exquisite photo essay by California Sunday Magazine with an accompanying exhibit at Aperture gallery in NYC.
2018 Fruitcake Redemption Contest hosted by Kitchen Arts and Letters. I'm so curious I'm about to play hookey and go check this out.
How do we change the world?
During a presentation at an elite private school here in Manhattan, the students raised their hand and ask, “how can we help.” We are barely 5 mins into the presentation and they are already picking up what we are putting down. Did I mention that the students are in the 6th grade? Why does it take adult so much longer to raise their hand and say, “count me in?!”
Hi Love,
Are you tired? I am. I'm exhausted by the speed we are moving at. We won the House but not the Senate. We flipped many districts and retook the Governor's mansion in 7 previously Republican-held states, fingers crossed for two more with GA and FL. Our victory only puts Trump in a rage and the fight continues. I keep on reminding myself that incremental progress will lead to an avalanche and remake the world. While we keep at it with small changes the drip drip at times can feel like Chinese water torture.
I did a presentation on Hello Future to a class full of 10-year-olds at Trinity, a super-elite private school in NYC. Five minutes into the presentation, a girl raised her hand and asked how they could help. I turned the question back to them and asked them why they care? Why do they want to help refugee kids that are half-a-world away?
They instinctively knew. One girl said, "We are privileged to go to this school and we should use our privilege to help others." Another girl said that it is part of our Dharma, our social responsibility. Each and every one of them understood that we live in a world that is deeply connected
I was speechless. There might be hope for us all yet.
How do we make sure we keep these kids fire going and continue to foster their innate sense of social justice?! Do you guys think about this with your kids? What is your approach? Let me know. I'd love to get inside of your head.
Keep on keeping on,
Charlie
IDEAS YOU CAN STEAL
As part of any business strategy, target audience identification is a must. How do you know what to say to them if you don't know what they are interested in? However, we frequently assume the audience; a lot of guesswork goes into who we believe would care about what we do, what we sell, what we have to say. Rather than assume the target audience for Hello Future (liberal white women), we are testing our way into clarity. You can do this too. Our approach is a modest budget, lots of research and well calibrated Google Display Ads.
If you are interested in doing this for your business, and I can help, raise a flag and let me know.
WORTH A READ
How do we change the world is a question I've been asking myself for the last twenty years. This issue of Columbia's Journalism Review has some deep reflections on how the under-representation of people of color in newsrooms across the country hinders our progress, much like the under-representation in various branches of government. I'm convinced that Obama's Netflix deal is about less about the gobs of money they threw at him and more about culture change. Nothing moves the needle quite like pop-culture and we don't have to talk about politics to change perception, advocacy and voter turn out. Grant McCracken's book, Culturematic is a great read on this topic as well as Rebecca Solnit's Hope in the Dark.
WANDERLUST
Raise your hand if you've been to Patagonia. It's late in the season but we would love to head down to El Chalten and do a long distance trek. Love to know if you've been and your experience.
#HUMBLEBRAG
Side Hustle. Yeah that's a thing. I've never only had just one job. Forbes ran a story on side hustle this week and I was featured. What's your side hustle? Do you guard it like it's a deep dark secret? Or do you proudly share it with your network?
DON'T MISS
Bohemian Rhapsody. Go see it. Bryan Singer was a little light on the story but Rami Malek's performance is top notch. This is the closest you will get to a Queen's concert. And what a joy it is. Freddy Mercury changed the world. NO DOUBT. Can you think of another song that rallies and unit the way "We are the Champion" or "We will Rock You?" NOPE. I present you, Freddy Mercury, exhibit A of social change.
GOOD IDEA OR NOT SO MUCH?
WeCroak is an app that will randomly text you 5 times a day and remind you that you will die. It is inspired by a Bhutanese folk saying that to be a happy person one must contemplate death 5 times a day. Anyone wants to try it with me?
THE DR. IS IN
Week one of THE DR IS IN has been interesting. More ponderings than questions but that's alright. Tell me what you've been thinking, should I/shouldn't I, be it in business, art, the art business, travel, communications or even love, and I will do my best.
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